Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Maximized manipulation

I wore a Milwaukee brace for two and one-half years (age 14 to 16) before the decision was made to undergo a second spinal fusion that would correct my scoliosis. If you're at all familiar with pictures of the brace, you know it's hardly inconspicuous. The neck ring, in particular, is clearly visible. And that made it easy for P and me to meet.

It happened during the rush between classes at West Orange High School. Our eyes met and we froze as other students jostled past us. Speechless, we finally continued on our respective paths, fresh with the knowledge that neither of us was alone. Eventually we became friends and learned that our scoliosis treatment was being managed by the same surgeon, Dr. Keim.

Several months later, our common bond was dashed when I saw P at school, brace-less. Her parents were taking her to a chiropractor. "I go twice a week and it doesn't hurt," she told me. I was so jealous! And I pleaded for my parents to take me to a chiropractor, but after doing a little research, my mother nixed the idea.

Over the years, my infatuation with the thought of chiropractic treatment has done a 180. In fact, I have often said that a chiropractor for me would be like taking a Rolls Royce to a Hyundai mechanic. Having said that, I know there are some excellent chiropractors out there providing essential care to their patients. In fact, several of my family members (including my husband, Mark--and, in an ironic twist, my mother) and friends have turned to chiropractors for various ailments and gained positive results. For example, P (whose S-curve was at 6 and 12 degrees) received treatment for three years to prevent her scoliosis from progressing and, as of this writing, is doing very well with no regrets.

But there are also practitioners that claim chiropractic care can cure everything. And that brings me to the point of this post.

Recently, I found myself at an "information session" for a chiropractor in the Maximized Living franchise. One of their doctors had been at a healthful living event at EarthFare, offering free nerve scans, and Mark signed up. After a follow-up appointment and X-rays, he was asked to bring me along to his next visit to ensure I was "on board" with his treatment plan. Mark and I had no idea what to expect, but we hoped to be on our way within an hour so we could go out for coffee afterward.

First, we (there were six of us altogether) heard from the CA (chiropractic assistant)--a patient at the practice--who told us how awesome she felt after receiving treatment. Then the junior chiropractor took over the podium. He began by asking us to list the top four causes of death in the United States. Now, as a freelance writer, I have interviewed numerous cardiovascular surgeons and researchers, and they have all told me the same thing: the number one cause of death in America is cardiovascular disease. But according to the JC, heart disease was number two, followed by cancer (#3) and diabetes (#4). The number one cause of death was a word I'd never heard of (starts with an "I"), a disorder that afflicts those who are taking multiple prescriptions for various chronic disorders. Cue skepticism.

Finally, the chiropractor--Dr. B.--taught us how to read X-rays, using "before" and "after" views of previous patients. He emphasized that the key to a long and healthy life is proper spinal alignment. Then he went on to illustrate how any malady can be cured--or prevented--with spinal manipulation. Even cancer. And at that point, Mark caught my eye and mouthed "I'm sorry."

But the coup de gra for me was the last patient, a teenage girl whose X-rays illustrated the progression of her scoliosis. After explaining that the girl's parents had been advised by their pediatrician to monitor her curve at home and not pursue chiropractic care, Dr. B. dramatically revealed the most recent X-ray showing a noticeable curve to her spine. It achieved the desired effect as the other participants gasped. Meanwhile, I was thinking to myself, I've seen worse. Pressing his advantage, Dr. B. went on to describe--in graphic detail--that the girl had since undergone scoliosis surgery with cages and bolts and all manner of horrible apparatus that were now a part of her body.

O.M.G.

We were dismissed to a private room for the final phase of the evening: Mark's individualized treatment plan--and payment options. I will spare you the financial details (Dr. B. doesn't take insurance). Suffice to say that, after three hours of mangled medical facts (did you know that people with scoliosis have a markedly shorter-than-average life span??), Mark and I were punchy and snarky when the CA came in to discuss financial arrangements. After we got home (it was too late for coffee), I googled "maximized living+reviews" and found several cautionary tales, including this one.

So, the next time you're out and about, if you see someone offering free nerve scans, remember: "forewarned is forearmed."