Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Facing the inevitable

Lately, I feel like my arthritic hip is getting worse, despite my continued commitment to exercise. I am relying more on ibuprofen to take the edge off, and its effectiveness seems to be waning. But it wasn’t until I caught myself envying my mother’s flexibility -- as she stretched her muscles after a morning walk -- that I realized just how far the mighty have fallen.

I long to appear “normal” – a status I am able to achieve as long as I remain stationary. But as soon as I mobilize, my secret is revealed. And I honestly believe it may have cost me a job.

Earlier this year, I was approached by one of my freelance clients to apply for a part-time copywriting job. The hiring manager, Jim, was new to the company, but when my contact there had recommended me and shared samples of my work, he liked what he saw and asked me to come in for an interview. The meeting went well. I was clearly qualified for the position and I thought we struck up a good rapport. He offered to walk me to the door afterwards and, since I am most stiff after being seated for awhile, there was no hiding my limp. In the end, although Jim approached me for the job (after his co-worker recommended me), he hired someone else. Am I being paranoid?

And then there is the kind concern from folks like “Bill” at Home Depot. As Mark and I waited for Bill’s co-worker to track down the deck paint we specified, he considered me with a thoughtful smile.

“Hips, back or knees?”

“Uh, hips and back. I need a new right hip.”

He nodded with understanding. Turns out he had a degenerated disc repaired recently. In addition, his former girlfriend “walked just like" me before her knee replacement. We discussed surgeons and how much better I will feel after I have my hip replaced.

At this point, it is difficult to imagine having two relatively pain-free, strong, flexible hips. And how lovely it will be to actually see the other side of my right calf, the better to shave it!

Although I have recently posted about postponing my hip replacement until other, less invasive options have been exhausted, I’m psyching myself up to face the inevitable. So, in this season of politics, you may call me a flip-flopper. I’m meeting with a hip replacement surgeon next month and will keep you posted.