Living life

Crisis management is a vital parenting skill that I learned from a master – my mother.

When faced with my spondylolisthesis diagnosis and the reality that their 13-year-old daughter needed major spinal surgery to avoid paralysis, both my parents were matter-of-fact. Did I want the surgery? Was I comfortable with the surgeon? And, if either of my parents were freaking out on the inside, I never knew it.

During my surgery, Mom prayed and visualized Jesus carrying me. That brought her peace. Afterward, my surgeon, Hugo Keim, reported that all had gone well and I was fine. Dr. Keim and Mom never hit if off; he reserved his warm-and-fuzzy bedside manner for his patients, and didn’t have much charm leftover for their parents. Yet, after each of my surgeries, he updated her personally, instead of delegating the duty to a junior doctor on his surgical team. For that, Mom was grateful.

Post-op, I was in a body cast for six months. The kicker: for the first three months, I was bed-ridden so the spinal fusion could heal properly.

Caring for me at home was a challenge that Mom seemed to enjoy. She’s a natural at troubleshooting and, by the time the gurney rolled me through the front door, everything was in place.

One of my father’s brothers had located an old-fashioned hospital bed – crank-style – that he had cleaned and painted white. And, instead of sequestering me upstairs in my bedroom, Mom decided I would be in the dining room on the first floor “where all the action is,” she said. So, the dining room table and chairs were moved into the living room, creating a crowded by usable arrangement.

Since Mom had gone back to work by then, a phone was installed at my bedside. I was also given one of Dad’s police whistles to summon assistance, if needed, after everyone had gone upstairs to bed. With Dad working rotating shifts, Mom coming home midday for lunch and my brother checking in a few hours before Mom at day’s end, I was covered!

I didn’t realize it at the time, but Mom was teaching me how to deal with life’s curveballs. The takeaway: make a plan and execute, and keep living your life.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!