Dreaded first impressions

The holidays are traditionally a time for reflection. For better or worse, I tend to focus on my spinal health, gauging my progress -- or lack thereof -- from one year to the next.

I’ve heard that, as you get older, you start to care less about what others think about you. But, for some reason, I seem to be going in reverse with regard to my physical appearance and its inevitable influence on people’s first impressions of me.

During my years of back braces and body casts, I enjoyed staring down those who dared to gape at me, often giggling with delight when I turned the tables and made them feel uncomfortable.

Then, I was dealing with morbid curiosity – and outright rudeness. But now a greater challenge looms – kind concern.

As my flat-back syndrome has progressed, I have become increasingly self-conscious – and defensive – of the kindness of strangers and their concern for my well-being. I have reached the point where I can recognize that slight frown and quizzical expression before the question about my assumed pain can be asked. “No, I’m fine,” I mutter with a smile and a head shake. “Nothing to see here. Move along. Back to your lives, citizens!”

This year, as the arthritis in my hip has further altered my gait, I have convinced myself that these physical “differences” will prevent me from making a positive impression on prospective clients and colleagues ~ anything to avoid networking! Worse, I worry that, without a carefree spring in my step, people will not look beyond my “old” appearance to discover all that I have to offer as an experienced writer and communications professional.

Recently, I shared my concerns with my friend, D. Like me, D is a scoliosis patient so she understood – more than most – where I’m coming from.

“You’re not alone. Everyone has issues, something they’re uncomfortable about, so don’t let that stop you,” she urged.

She’s right, of course. I believe everyone has a story to tell, and adversity provides some of the best material.

So, in the New Year I resolve to venture out from behind my desk and seek some face time with new friends and prospects.

May you successfully keep your resolutions and enjoy good health, peace and happiness in 2011.