Featured resource

In August, I wrote about a scam email I'd received from the International Blogging Recognition Council (IBRC). The email claimed Maria Talks Back had been deemed a "Recognized blog" and offered me a badge to publicize my award -- for a fee. I passed.

Today, another email arrived announcing that MTB is listed as a featured resource for www.onlineenglishdegree.com:

"As a website dedicated to help those consider a career in english, we only provide the best information available. Whether it's a resource that explores different writing styles, or provides inspiration for your next novel, we provide them for those seeking to obtain this information. This is why we've featured your blog, as it is one of the best to teach our readers."

The badge now located in the upper-right corner was free, so I think this one is for real.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Holidays are a time for reflection. As I look around the dinner table today, I’m remembering Thanksgivings past at my grandparents’ house, surrounded by my boisterous, extended family.

Things are quieter this year, but no less thankful. Mark and I have faced many challenges, including his extended unemployment and several health issues.

We’ve come through, still intact and stronger for the storms we’ve weathered. For that, and all my blessings, I am profoundly thankful.

Thank you for reading my blog. May you and yours savor your holiday feast – and each other’s company – and find joy and appreciation in all of your blessings today and every day.

RIP, Grandma

As he was leaving my engagement party, my grandfather turned to me and said, "My last wish now is to dance at your wedding!" He didn't make it.

Now, almost 27 years later, Grandma has joined him in heaven. When Grandpa met her at the pearly gates, I think one of the first things he said was, "Mary, I owe you a dance!"

Grandma would have been 100-years-old on Nov. 26, 2010. The last 15+ years of her life were spent in a nursing home as dementia gradually claimed her mind and body. But that's not how I will remember my fiercely independent grandmother.

I always considered Grandma to be somewhat of a feminist long before the term was defined. A product of the Depression, she quit school after receiving an elementary-level education so she could work to help support her family.

Shortly after she and Grandpa became engaged, Grandma's fiery spirit sparked an argument that almost changed the course of our family's history. As the story goes, she wanted to go dancing, but Grandpa did not.

"Well, I'm going without you!" Grandma said.

"Oh no, you won't!" Grandpa replied.

"Oh yes, I will!"

"Then, give me that ring back!"

Grandma complied and went on with her evening. The incident postponed their nuptials, but they (obviously) later reconciled.

After they married, Grandma continued to work full-time as a seamstress, eventually becoming a forelady at Sherman's sewing factory in Orange, NJ. She made most of her own clothes, always in the latest styles. She prided herself on being a salaried employee throughout her career, while Grandpa had "only" worked on commission as a salesman. She was thrifty and disciplined about saving money, yet she treated herself to a weekly hair appointment at "the beauty parlor." When I was old enough, Grandma shared her passion for sewing and crocheting (she made beautiful afghans) with me, although I never mastered them the way she did. She also encouraged me to patronize her "girl" to have my hair done, often pressing money into my hand to fund my visit.

I have cozy memories of Saturday nights at Grandma's where Anthony and I were treated to pan-fried lamb chops, Kool-Aid (something my mother refused to buy!), and staying up past bedtime to watch Mary Tyler Moore.

During my recovery from spondylolisthesis surgery, my parents gave me one of Dad's police whistles to summon them from the second floor, since I was confined to bed in the dining room. One afternoon, Dad was upstairs asleep after working the midnight shift. I don't remember what I needed; only that I kept blowing the whistle with all of my breath and he didn't respond. Panicked, I called Grandma thinking something had happened to Dad. "I'm sure he's alright, but I'll be right there," she assured me. Minutes later, I heard her coming through the back door after speed-walking (she didn't drive) up our street -- one of the longest, steepest hills in West Orange. After checking on me, she charged up to my parents' bedroom and brought my sleepy, bewildered father to my bedside to confirm all was well.

Together with Grandpa, Grandma was the focal point of my extended family. She brought us together every Sunday for dinner -- a meal that always included amazingly moist meatballs. And, afterwards, as I watched from the corner stool in the kitchen, Grandma and her sister, Rose, would good-naturedly argue about who would do the dishes, their cackling laughter reverbertaing off the walls and tin ceiling.

I feel so blessed to have had Grandma in my life and I'm comforted knowing that she is finally at peace. When I think of her now, I can't help but smile at the image of her and Grandpa, dancing again among the stars.

Sound for Scoliosis

Giving help and hope to children and families with scoliosis. That’s the mission of Sound for Scoliosis, a nonprofit organization that uses the power and allure of music to raise awareness and funds for the National Scoliosis Foundation.

Sound for Scoliosis’s second annual concert event will take place Fri., Nov. 5, through Sun., Nov. 7, at various venues located primarily in the downtown Scranton, PA area.

During The Grand Finale on Sun., Nov. 7, NSF President Joe O’Brien will read Emily’s story. If you're a regular Maria Talks Back reader, you know all about Emily and her scoliosis saga. Her mom, Suzette, has given me permission to reprint her remarks here as an update -- in case you can’t make it to Scranton next month:

“My name is Suzette Robinson Schrump. I am 46 years young. I am mother, advocate and staunch supporter of my beautiful little girl named Emily, now age 11. In 2005 at age 5, Emily was diagnosed with scoliosis by her pediatrician. In fact, the curve 'appeared' so bad we (Emily's daddy and myself) were given no medical options. UNC Chapel Hill was THE place chosen for our daughter's care.

"For the next 4 years we drove back and forth to the hospital every four months in hopes that we would never hear the words we came to fear the most. 'It's time to start bracing.' In fact, when her 'S' curve was actually MRI'ed (under anesthesia) Emily was also diagnosed with a spinal syrinx. So between orthopedics, neurosurgery and urology, we remained on edge. We determined that four years began to feel like a lifetime.

"June 5th, 2009, our hearts sank, nausea overcame us, as the surgeon gave us the 'news.' Before the brace, it had become commonplace to just wait and worry; now it was here. The brace was coming whether we liked it or not. Our lives had changed forever. Adding insult to injury, our insurance company, United Healthcare, claimed we had went to an out-of-network brace provider (even though we had a written prescription to go to a specific orthotist) and decided to deny all of the claims. Appeals came and went, and denials were the outcome. UHC sent us to a 'provider' of their choice, and the provider simply told me (in writing) that he could not make the brace Emily needed, and that he didn't know why we were given his name in the first place.

"Long story short, we met and befriended Katherine Southard aka Miss North Carolina 2009 at the 4th of July event in 2009 (divine intervention). She put us in contact with a freelance writer, Maria, who is also a scoliosis patient, and had awesome contacts in Raleigh, NC. Maria hooked us up with a radio broadcast station, which we spoke on about our insurance debacle, and BAM! the claim was paid.

"Maria then landed two separate newspaper features about Emily and Miss North Carolina, all in hopes of raising awareness for scoliosis. Katherine came to Emily's school and spoke to the entire student body about scoliosis and her spinal fusion. Emily interacted with Katherine by actually showing the kids how she puts her brace on. The kids were amazed. Emily became a Rock Star.

"Between the three of us adults, we have come together to do everything possible to help people understand scoliosis, and to get the public school system to restart school screenings at a young age. If we can help one child, just one, then it is worth it.

"Emily is on her third brace. She is holding her own. Her curves have not progressed. We are homeschooling her this year because the middle school transition was a task Emily was not willing to take on. We allowed her to make the choice. We are not giving up. We are going to continue to battle the 'system.'

"The Governor of North Carolina recently rejected a proposal put before her as the month of June becoming Scoliosis Awareness month for our state. A shame given the fact that so many other states actually have a month chosen for scoliosis. So the battle continues.....”

You can follow Sound for Scoliosis on Facebook to learn more about the work it is doing on behalf of scoliosis patients.

PT magic

So far, so good. Doug, my new physical therapist, wrote that I am “progressing nicely” in my patient file yesterday -- my sixth appointment with him, post-spasm.

I’d been on medication for two weeks by the time Doug and I had our initial consultation and evaluation. Although I was pain-free -- for the first time since I can’t remember -- Doug said the offending muscle was still tight, something he set to correct with massage.

“I don’t believe in ultrasound. I’d much rather get my hands on you and work the muscles,” he said. And work them he did, very effectively. After my second visit, I successfully stopped taking Mobic, the anti-inflammatory drug.

During the past month, Doug has reviewed my home exercises, and gradually added others. If a new exercise targeted the same area as an old one, I adopted the newer version.

Massages focused in and around my right hip at each appointment until the muscles loosened to Doug’s satisfaction. By my fourth visit, I felt great. But, I didn’t know how much to credit Doug’s massages and the new exercises, since I was still on Amrix. And although I hated taking the muscle relaxant, I was afraid not to.

“Let’s stop the Amrix the night before your next appointment,” Doug suggested. “Then, if you’re in pain that morning, we can take care of it.”

Now, I’m coming up on one week, drug-free. No spasms. In fact, I feel pretty good! I still have some stiffness in the morning, but it’s nothing compared to the low-back pain I had accepted as my “new normal” within the past year.

My posture and gait have improved, too, if only my muscles would remember that. It’s strange how the body adjusts to chronic pain and discomfort. For awhile, I’ve been aware that my stride resembled a modified waddle -- like I was negotiating tires in an obstacle course – to accommodate my arthritic hip. With Doug’s help, I now feel more flexible and able to walk normally, something I need to consciously remind my muscles, lest I start quacking!

The next challenge is…[drum roll]…yard work. I have avoided doing anything remotely strenuous to prevent a recurring spasm, but Doug wants me to take the plunge. “I’d rather you go about your normal business so we can address any problems, rather than your calling me in pain after I’ve discharged you,” he said.

So, sometime between now and late next week, I’ll be donning my gloves to break up the weed "kegger" that has been taking over my garden. Wish me luck!

Out of control

“I feel good…na-na-na-na-na-na-na…didn’t know if I would…”

One week ago today, a roundtrip walk from my bed to the bathroom triggered a muscle spasm in my right hip that stole my breath, stopped me in my tracks and scared the crap out of Mark – and me.

Except for the morning pain I had before my spondylolisthesis surgery, this was the worst! I’m not sure how I got back to bed, but (after waving my poor husband off) I did make it there on my own. It was 2AM. I gratefully swallowed the naproxen Mark brought to me and went back to sleep.

I tend to gauge the severity of my back pain each day by my range of motion and the ability to perform routine tasks. So, when I got up at 5:15AM, I was ready to determine this spasm’s place on the pain continuum.

The naproxen had taken the edge off, and I was able to get dressed and go upstairs. Although I managed to get through most of my daily isometric exercises, for the first time ever, I opted to stay off the treadmill.

That’s when reality sunk in: the spasm was in control, not me. Being unable to control your body is an awful feeling; one I work to avoid every day. But on this day, as I dejectedly shuffled to my office and lowered myself into the computer chair, I felt like I had failed.

Years ago, a physical therapist explained that back pain is often at its worst first thing in the morning. This may seem counterintuitive, since you would (theoretically) be rested after a night’s sleep. However, while the body is horizontal, fluid in the spine’s vertebrae collects in tiny pools, and it is that accumulated fluid that can cause morning back pain in many people. Once you get up and start moving, the fluid drains and the pain usually dissipates.

That has always been the case for me, even with this – the mother of all muscle spasms. And, after about 30 minutes of sitting upright, I was able to go downstairs (albeit gingerly) and get on with my day.

Given the debilitating nature of the spasm that morning, I was surprised to be mobile and self-sufficient throughout the day, but I did not let that lull me into a false sense of recovery. No, the spasm was still there...lurking...waiting to strike again.

That night, I went to orthopedic urgent care.

In my experience (which is, unfortunately, extensive), orthopedic surgeons are as elusive as rock stars, relegating the mundane chore of treating non-surgical patients to their PAs. I can count on one hand the number of knowledgeable, caring PAs I have encountered in my life. The guy I saw last week was not one of them.

“You have an ugly back!” he announced as he breezed into the exam room after viewing my X-ray films. Clearly, he had checked his bedside manner at the door.

“Really? I think my back is beautiful. What did the X-rays show?"

“Oh, just a lot of arthritis, bone spurs and stuff. Lots of wear and tear, but nothing to worry about.”

“Is there anything on the X-rays I should know about?”

“No, nothing to worry about. Just A LOT of wear and tear.”

Okaaay…

“What do you take for your arthritis?” he asked.

“An occasional ibuprofen, but usually nothing,” I said.

“Why?”

“Uh, because I don’t like taking pills.”

After diagnosing me with a muscle spasm (really?), the PA prescribed anti-inflammatory and muscle relaxant medication, and wrote a script for physical therapy.

Then, he gave me samples of two muscle relaxants to try. The first (Skelaxin) lasts six to eight hours; the second (Amrix ) works for 24 hours. I quickly determined that I needed a muscle relaxant working full-force when I get out of bed in the morning, so Amrix was the winner.

Now, one week later, I am essentially pain-free –- something I haven’t been in a long time -- but I hate the dry mouth and drowsiness caused by the drugs, not to mention the scary warnings against long-term use of both Amrix and Mobic.

So, my first question for the physical therapist next week will be,

“How can I continue to feel like this, without meds?”

I’ll let you know what he says.

Scam alert: International Blogging Recognition Council

Earlier this week, I opened my email to find this missive:

"During the month of July, the International Blogging Recognition Council (IBRC) had the pleasure of reviewing your blog Maria Talks Back. Your blog was referred to IBRC through our Refer-A-Blog program. 'The unemployment truth ~ can you handle it?' was the topic that the Council reviewed. Based on the review, the Council has recommended that your blog receive IBRC’s designation of 'Recognized Blog.' IBRC reserves this honor to those blogs that effectively connects with the audience and promotes the sharing of ideas and experiences.

"We invite you to visit our website to learn more about IBRC and our “Recognized Blog” award. Congratulation on your accomplishment.

Sarah L. Tolten
Review Committee Chair
International Blogging Recognition Council"

I must admit, I was flattered -- until I went to the website in search of a "badge" that would designate my blog as "recognized." It was available to me -- for a one-time fee of $45.

After conferring with fellow writers and bloggers, I've confirmed that this is a scam. As one colleague put it, "Awards you have to pay for aren't worth having. There's a big difference between paying for the award and paying an entry fee in a legitimate awards competition."

So, I am using the power of my pen to spread the word and, hopefully, hasten a swift demise to the IBRC.