Something about Mary

Every individual is a product of his or her unique life experiences, and my spinal history has played a starring role in how I have become the person I am today. However, I don’t want that part of my life to define me because I’m much more than a spondylolisthesis/scoliosis patient.

I feel a special connection to friends and family who were “there” when I was living through my surgeries, etc. And, as I have made new friends during my lifetime, I have eventually, for one reason or another, shared at least the Reader’s Digest version of my story with them.

That’s how I met Mary.

In 2002, I met Marguerite, a woman in my neighborhood who was a fellow stay-home mom. As we became acquainted, the story of my back came out. She told me about her friend, Mary, who was also from New Jersey and had had scoliosis surgery. Marguerite offered to put Mary and me in touch and, days later, Mary called. We talked for over an hour, comparing medical notes, and soon discovered we’d had surgery in the same hospital – Columbia Presbyterian in New York City – with the same surgeon, Dr. Hugo Keim. Like me, Mary had worn the Milwaukee Brace before her scoliosis surgery and now her daughter, Emily, was in a Boston Brace, hoping to avoid surgery.

We started calling ourselves "twisted sisters." I told Mary about my memoir and she asked to read it. And I was so excited to have someone outside of my family give me feedback about it.

Mary told me about flat-back syndrome. She had it and wondered if I did, too. Unbeknownst to me, I did.

I’ve read many horror stories about aging scoliosis patients. I’m a worrier by nature so tales of agonizing, nonstop pain, and Harrington rods and other hardware breaking through the skin were not giving me a warm-and-fuzzy feeling about my medical future. But, my friendship with Mary has helped me see that every scoliosis patient is different, with their own unique issues. In return, I think I’ve shown her how exercise can help ward off or even prevent potential future problems. So, it's a mutually beneficial situation, and a very special friendship.